This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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