so explain again why im purple
no
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
MIDGETS
????
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
