Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize