the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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