wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
no you cant smoke seaweed
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Randomize
