Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Damn victory sex feels great
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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