Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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