You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
