Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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