Sry I called you an 8
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
