They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
