What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
