Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
