my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
