so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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