what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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