We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
