Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
