Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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