Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
