Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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