You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize