now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
