she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
