How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
