this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize