I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Life is so much better after having sex.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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