I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she told me i tasted like america
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
