If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
