Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
