She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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