Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
