I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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