Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
