How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
