Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
