sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
