you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Everclear isn't food dammit
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