You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
