he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i need some magic done to my vagina
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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