well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
