in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
