just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize