My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
