pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
