I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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