He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
