I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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