why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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