2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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