Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
