So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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