If that was your dad, he is hot
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
