No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
