You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
