Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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