It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
