What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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