wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
