And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
