Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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