some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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