Moan for me like Helen Keller
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
