it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
