I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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