I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She announced her abortion via fbk
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
