Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
