The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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