Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize