will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
