Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
