it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
