Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
