He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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