Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
