she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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