ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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