also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize