Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
